@Rae_Slater @brianawrites @BrettMichaelOrr Book reviews? Bah, I want to know about your nightmares and crazy fantasies of freedom and wealth
— Christopher Mahan (@chris_mahan) November 8, 2014
Are ya'll ready for this?
First, I wanted to be a detective. When I was little, I got my "real" start in being a bookworm by reading the Nancy Drew novels, and to this day I have the entire collection on my bookshelf. Nancy was such a strong, smart, and fashionable heroine that I fell in love and wanted to do everything she did.
Then I wanted to be a zoologist because, well, zoologists get to work in zoos and be around animals all the time. Which I thought was awesome.
Then I wanted to become a forensic anthropologist because I loved the show Bones and thought, "I want to do that!"
Each and every one of those things had the same thing in common (although, for the second one, I can't remember where the spark came from): what I wanted to become had a base in fictional worlds. So, eventually, I thought: why not take my dreams, and shove them into a world that I create on my own?
Therefore, I started writing, and I found my niche. I love the fact that I can be whatever I want just by diving into the minds of my characters. They can be the detective, the animal lover, the investigator of dead bodies. And they can do so much more.
So my dreams and my "crazy fantasies" involve me, sitting in a cozy studio apartment somewhere in New England, and tapping away at my laptop. There will also be a mischievous cat named Mako trying to knock my coffee over. It's that kind of life that makes me happy, and even if I don't make millions, if I can somehow pull off making enough to get my somewhat comfortably, then I'll be happy.
Okay, so a recurring nightmare I've had since The Dark Night movie came out: the Joker is coming to kill me. To this day, that's the most terrible and frightening literal nightmare that I've ever had (go ahead and laugh, you know you want to).
As for my real nightmares, I think it's something that a lot of people share: what if I don't make it? I'm one of those stupidly optimistic people who thinks, "Eventually, it'll happen," and I like to think that I have the drive, commitment, and motivation to get me at least somewhere close. Even worse, though, is the fact that so many in my family, and so many of my friends, have the kind of confidence I try to exude, only they have it in so much excess that it scares me. If I don't make it, I can deal with it after a few weeks of dark depression and a whole heck of a lot of chocolate and apple pie, but my biggest nightmare and fear has been letting down those people who've supported me for six years, now. I've always hated failure, mainly because there were other people who I think had more faith in me than I had, and it makes me feel terrible to not succeed in the way they think I should.
I mean, I'm a people pleaser. I want to make others happy, and I want them to be proud of me. So sue me.
And...those are my thoughts. And I think I've either stated the obvious, or stated too much, but there's my thoughts for today.
What are your dreams and nightmares?
@Rae_Slater accepted @chris_mahan's challenge and spilled her dreams and nightmares; they all have to do with writing (Click to Tweet)
@chris_mahan asked @Rae_Slater what her dreams and nightmares are, so she spilled and asks: what're yours? (Click to Tweet)